readytorunbook Ch. 217 - First Day Back -- A Grave Awaits; Walk into Class -- Nobody's Home
Ch. 217 - First Day Back -- A Grave Awaits; Walk into Class -- Nobody's Home
Twenty minutes later.Chen Shu arrived at the school gates.
"Huh? Today's the first day back?"
The entrance was packed. Parents and students crowded together in a chaotic mass at the front gates.
But Chen Shu's eyes locked onto one figure immediately -- a man standing by the gate, wearing black-framed glasses, looking somewhat refined.
His face, however, was dark as a brewing storm.
It was Shen Wushuang, waiting for him...
"Can't see me, can't see me..."
Chen Shu squeezed his eyes shut, pressed his palms together, and prayed fervently, trying to hide himself in the crowd.
But his bandit energy was too thick -- like a torch blazing in the dead of night.
"By the authority of Taishang Laojun, execute immediately as law commands -- whoever sees me is an idiot..." [1]
Shen Wushuang appeared right behind him. The corner of his mouth twitched.
You little shit -- you're clearly calling me an idiot!
Smack!
He reached out and tapped Chen Shu's shoulder with his right hand.
Chen Shu's heart lurched. He slowly turned his head, and sure enough -- there stood Shen Wushuang.
A stiff smile forced its way onto his face. "Happy New Year, Teacher Shen."
"Follow me to the back mountain."
"..."
Chen Shu's eyes went wide. This was the rhythm of getting buried alive!
First day back -- a grave awaits. Walk into class -- nobody's home. [2]
"Teacher, give me a chance!"
His expression turned aggrieved as he spoke:
"I wanted to come back to school ages ago, but things kept getting in the way!"
Shen Wushuang raised an eyebrow. "What happened? Were you home building a nuclear bomb?"
"..."
Chen Shu's face went blank. The hell kind of accusation was that?
"I'm not a nuclear bomb manufacturer -- I'm merely the delivery man."
"Cut the bullshit. What were you actually doing?"
Chen Shu's eyes rolled as the gears turned. "Hasn't a new Alternate Dimension appeared recently? The Dragon Guard was shorthanded, so I had to help out!"
"You?"
Shen Wushuang's face was pure skepticism. "What could a Rank 9 Beast Tamer possibly contribute?"
Chen Shu explained, "I have other means, don't I..."
"Really?"
"Of course it's real! Otherwise I'd have been back ages ago. Teacher Shen, I think about school every single day. Every day I'm not here, my heart has dinosaurs stampeding through it!"
The corner of Shen Wushuang's mouth twitched. If I hadn't personally called you, you'd probably miss the goddamn college entrance exam itself.
Chen Shu pressed on: "Isn't February the academic portion? You know my level!"
Shen Wushuang barked: "Get your ass back to class! If you're not first place in February's exam, bring a shovel and come find me at the back mountain!"
"You got it!"
Chen Shu scurried off toward the classroom, practically bouncing with each step.
...
"Class, it's nearly the end of February, and I must say your grades have been quite satisfying. You've truly surpassed your predecessors -- the student becomes the master!"
The academic subjects teacher wore a smile on his face.
As the cream of the school's crop, cultural subjects were naturally a walk in the park for them.
Even compared to geniuses from the big cities, the gap wasn't significant -- unless you were talking about those academic gods who aimed for perfect scores.
"Tomorrow is our academic exam. The difficulty is comparable to the college entrance exam -- to some extent, this will reflect your actual entrance exam performance. Give it everything you've got!"
Right as the teacher was speaking, someone appeared at the door.
"Report!"
The teacher turned to look, face full of confusion. "Which student are you looking for?"
"..."
Chen Shu's mouth twitched. No wonder nobody had told him -- the teacher didn't even know the class was missing a person!
"Teacher, I'm a student in this class!"
"A student? A new transfer?"
"Uh... I'm the class president."
Chen Shu and the teacher locked eyes in a deep, prolonged stare. Neither spoke for a long time...
Is this some kind of joke?
School had been in session for nearly a month, and the class president was only showing up NOW?
After a long pause, the teacher asked again: "You're really the class president?"
"Teacher Liu, he's one of our students. He had some business that held him up."
Shen Wushuang appeared at the doorway and explained.
"Then come on in."
Teacher Liu's brow furrowed, displeasure evident in his eyes as he spoke:
"Even for a class president, academics must come first. Cultural subjects aren't as simple as you think!"
Chen Shu nodded and returned to his seat.
The moment he stepped back into the classroom, the atmosphere shifted.
The previously relaxed mood instantly grew heavier.
Even after a month away, the bandit's pressure still dominated.
Teacher Liu spoke up: "Alright! Today we'll review one more time. Everyone, take out your textbooks!"
He held a biology textbook in hand, walking through the aisles as he began lecturing.
When he reached Chen Shu's desk, he froze.
Chen Shu had his backpack open and was rummaging through it.
Urea bags. A grill. Condiments and seasonings. A wrench. An electric drill.
What the hell do you even do for a living?!
Teacher Liu's expression locked up. He sank into a deep, profound silence.
In decades of teaching, this was the first time he'd encountered a student whose bag contained zero textbooks -- just an inexplicable pile of random objects.
Chen Shu was equally stunned. He genuinely had never packed a single book...
"Where are my books?!"
He kept digging through his backpack. He HAD to find at least one book to defuse this excruciating awkwardness!
Every pair of eyes in the class turned to watch. Not one of them looked surprised.
If Chen Shu had actually produced a textbook -- THAT would've been genuinely shocking.
"Chen Pi, last time you grilled in here, you forgot to bring charcoal..."
Xie Sunan slid over to his side and whispered the reminder.
"..."
Chen Shu's eyes bulged. Holy shit, seriously?
"Sigh..."
Teacher Liu let out a long, deep sigh and walked away.
He couldn't understand how a perfectly good Special Training Class could have such a shady arrangement. This was blatantly wasting educational resources!
Chen Shu yawned. Since he had nothing to work with, he might as well get some rest.
That evening, the three of them reunited and headed back to the dorm.
"Not bad, Old Xie -- you've made it to Rank 8 Beast Tamer!"
Chen Shu had noticed Xie Sunan's Beast Taming level immediately.
Xie Sunan sighed. "Can't compare with you two loaded guys. Every rank I've got was earned through blood, sweat, and grinding!"
The moment Xu Xingxing opened the dorm room door, a cacophony of chirping and squawking exploded from inside.
"What the fuck?"
Chen Shu's mind went blank. An enormous cage sat in the middle of the room, packed with at least a hundred birds.
"I should be the one asking you! What the hell did you send me a pile of birds for?!"
Xu Xingxing spoke up: "And why is my Thunderbird acting like it owns the goddamn world now?"
In just one day, the Mutant Thunderbird had undergone a complete personality shift. It looked at everything and everyone with undisguised contempt, strutting around like it was invincible.
"Uh... I was just trying to build its confidence, you know?"
Having escaped the pursuit of multiple Silver Overlords and lived to tell the tale -- any contract spirit would have its self-esteem go through the roof...
"Give me a break!"
Xu Xingxing sighed. "So what do we do with all these birds?"
"They were prepared for your Thunderbird!"
"Just so it could shake its ass at them? It got bored after ONE day. Now it only wants to perform in front of powerful creatures!"
"Then just grill 'em."
Chen Shu shrugged and licked his lips.
None of them had eaten dinner. The moment those words landed, both Xu Xingxing and Xie Sunan swallowed hard.
"That's actually a good point."
And with that, the three of them set up the grill right there in the dorm room.
Reunited at last, they swapped stories about their winter breaks while the meat sizzled.
Xiao Xing's break had been spectacularly boring -- nothing but studying and cultivating. He was now just one step away from Rank 9 Beast Tamer.
Xie Sunan had racked up plenty of Beast Taming resources. With fierce beasts popping up everywhere, the Beast Tamer Association's mission board had been booming.
As for Chen Shu -- well, he naturally launched into a grand retelling of his legendary exploits.
"Your Slime fought a Silver Overlord for eight hundred rounds?!"
"You faced off against a King-rank beast?!"
The two of them let out dry, hollow laughs. Your bragging doesn't follow any basic rules at all -- you just say whatever pops into your head... [3]
[1] 太上老君急急如律令 (Taishang Laojun, ji ji ru lu ling): The canonical closing formula of Taoist exorcism spells: "By the authority of Taishang Laojun (the Supreme Elder Lord -- the deified Laozi, highest Taoist deity), execute immediately as law commands." Used in talismans and exorcisms since the Han Dynasty; familiar to every Chinese reader from wuxia dramas and the 2019 animated film Ne Zha. Chen Shu appends his own clause -- "whoever sees me is an idiot" -- as a personal modification of the divine formula.
[2] 开学一座坟，上课不见人 (kai xue yi zuo fen, shang ke bu jian ren): "The start of school is a grave; show up to class and no one's there." A sardonic student rhyming couplet (顺口溜) in Chinese internet culture since the 2010s -- a mock-proverb lamenting the start of term. In this chapter, Chen Shu is literally the absent person, and Shen Wushuang's burial threat makes the "grave" nearly literal.
[3] 不按基本法 (bu an ji ben fa): Lit. "not following the Basic Law" -- originally referring to Hong Kong's post-handover constitutional document, but evolved into mainland Chinese internet slang meaning "completely lawless / ignoring all rational rules." Used to describe behavior so chaotic it seems to operate by no recognizable logic.