this turbulent love

Chapter 42

After Jian Mo found the teacher of the archives department and explained his situation, he got the address of Gu Yan's home, took a rest and went on the journey to Gu Yan's home.Because she felt that she was going to meet Gu Yan's parents, she carefully prepared the meeting ceremony at Gu Yan's family. Knowing that Gu Yan's family had a younger sister, she also took time to prepare.

When he went to Gu Yan's house, he only saw Gu Yan's parents and younger sister. His heart darkened. Although he had prepared for such a long time ago, he would still feel disappointed after knowing the truth.After adjusting his mood, the restless and flustered mood during the journey gradually calmed down after such failures. He raised a smile, greeted Gu Yan's parents politely, and handed them the prepared gifts.

After explaining the purpose of coming, Gu's father and mother were very enthusiastic when they heard that Jian Mo was Gu Yan's classmate. Because Gu Yan studied in other provinces for three years in high school, it was a pity that he did not meet Gu Yan's classmate. Classmate Yan also came to his home specially, thinking that he must be treated well.

People on both sides were surprisingly enthusiastic, especially Jian Mo, who almost completely met Gu Yu's aesthetic standards. He was so nympho that he almost wrote on his face, 'How could my brother know such a handsome guy? ! ' up.

Although it was said that Gu Yan was not found at Gu Yan's house, Jian Mo felt that the trip was not in vain.He had never felt such an atmosphere, full of enthusiasm, which made him feel as if he could be with them no matter what.He recalled his home and couldn't help sighing.Gu Yan, did you grow up here?

That's great, he thought of Gu Yan's whole body as if full of sunshine.He thought of many things, like the panic of Gu Yan's roommate, like the inexplicable noise on the balcony.He lowered his eyes, only now that he calmed down did he realize how stupid he was at that time, Gu Yan probably still doesn't want to see him now, right?Laughing at himself, then, he will wait until he comes back, no matter what, he will stick to it, unless...

He severely dispelled that thought, and then returned to X City. Before that, he had to sort out his affairs, and then chased Gu Yan back.

Gu Yan's life has not been smooth recently, because no one knows who exposed the fact that Jian Mo came here to look for him, and it was very exaggerated.And Jian Mo looked very bad at that time, so there were people with good things who spread these things. Although I don't know who Gu Yan is, but gossip never needs to be understood in depth.

Almost on the second day, various versions ran rampant in Z University, especially since Gu Yan was still an exchange student, and moved out the second day after Jian Mo came, such actions made those people even more curious.I don't know when it started, but at least when Gu Yan knew it, he was forced to put the label of 'gay' on his body.

The first time he talked about himself from others, he knew it from laughing, or weird or disgusting eyes.When he heard it, he tried his best to pretend that he didn't hear it, but the more he did this, the worse it became for others.He heard more and more, and it became more and more unbearable for him. He wanted to deny it, but it was a fact that he liked Jian Mo, and it was also a fact that he was with Jian Mo. He couldn't deny it at all.

For the first time, he tasted the taste of indisputability.He wanted to tell Zhuang Qian and the others, but thinking of Zhuang Qian's reaction, he must have made a bigger fuss in school. After thinking about it, he still didn't say anything, and continued his exchange and study in the eyes of those people.

The term homosexuality is still very taboo in this country, even mentioning it seems taboo.The few people who came with Gu Yan also knew about this matter, although they were not as malicious as others, but they were either estranged, or they said they didn't care, but they still kept a certain distance.

Gu Yan had a hard time during this time, and every day when he went back to Zhuang Qian and the others, he still had to show his smiling face, not daring to let Zhuang Qian see anything unusual, and he really felt exhausted physically and mentally.After finishing his lunch, he came to the empty rooftop, buried his head in his lap, sighed deeply, and couldn't help his frustration.Homosexuality is like an infectious disease, they wish to stay away from him as far as possible, he thought back to their eyes, as if his whole body had been injured to the point of bruising, he never thought that the past with Jian Mo would be so vicious conjecture.

He curled himself up into a ball, let it heal itself, and then let himself have the energy to put a smile on his face and return to Zhuang Qian.

"what happened to you?"

Gu Yan heard the voice and looked up. It was a boy, clean, gentle and handsome, with a smile on his face.He looked at him and felt that he couldn't say anything, so he paused for a while and only said 'nothing'.

"You are Gu Yan, aren't you?" Gu Yan glanced at the boy, thinking about the expression he would show later, he didn't even have the strength to answer.He didn't speak, just looked at the rooftop, counting the time to go back to Zhuang Qian by car later.

The boy didn't say anything when he saw Gu Yan like this, he just found a seat to sit beside Gu Yan.

Gu Yan didn't even bother to struggle, he had heard enough rumors recently, he felt that he couldn't afford any more emotions, and he could do whatever other people wanted.He thought about it like this, and then ignored the people around him.

The boy didn't care, he just sat next to Gu Yan without saying a word, the two of them just sat together like this, and when Gu Yan got up, the boy hurriedly got up and said something behind Gu Yan:

"My name is He Xiao!"

The warm voice dissipated in the cool air, Gu Yan paused, turned around to say hello to He Xiao, then turned and left.Who knows if this person is the kind of gossip who is curious to know about boring subjects like 'how is gay life' or chatting after dinner? He is really scared and feels that the next college life will be like this The corridor downstairs was long and dark.

This matter did not disappear with time, but it was not as enthusiastic as it was at the beginning. You are no longer a child in college, and you will not do such drastic things, but even if no one is with Gu Yan, even Yu Kun, who was the best before. Because after I moved out, I had less and less contact.Gu Yan felt that the days at Z University were really difficult, so he could only immerse himself in his studies every day, trying to forget his own situation, but the reality was often not what people wanted.

Gu Yan was told that someone was looking for him after school. Although he felt confused, he still went where.

Sitting there was a well-maintained and capable looking woman, but Gu Yan assured that he had never seen this woman before.But from the moment he stepped through the door, the woman's eyes kept falling on him, and he knew that it was the person looking for him.

Sure enough, when Gu Yan sat down, the woman opposite straightened her clothes, took a sip of the tea in front of her, and then spoke.

"You are Gu Yan?"

His speech revealed a cold and capable taste.Gu Yan didn't know where this woman came from, but many people had already asked this question, and he didn't have much reaction, just out of politeness, he looked at the woman opposite, answered, and then waited for the woman to answer. Go on and go on.

The woman opposite made him feel a little familiar, and he was sure he had never seen her before.He thought about it hard, and suddenly overlapped Jian Mo with the woman across from him, and his feeling towards Jian Mo was very similar to that of a woman. Thinking of this, he suddenly felt nervous.

"I'm Jian Mo's mother." This sentence really made Gu Yan restless.He and Jian Mo were no longer together, so he was even more worried about the meaning of Jian Mo's mother coming here.He didn't answer, just looked at the woman opposite, Jian Mo's mother continued to drink a few sips of tea, and didn't express his purpose of coming until Gu Yan couldn't help but run away.

"My nephew told me some rumors about you and Jian Mo, so I couldn't help but come over to see if what they said was true."

Gu Yan on the opposite side suddenly didn't know what to say. He was with Jian Mo before, and he was the one who found him first. Even if Jian Mo had always liked Xiaoqian, if it wasn't for him, Jian Mo would probably marry him after graduation. The wife has a child, and then continues to live a normal life, instead of being the same as myself.

What should he say?He looked at the woman in front of him, he probably had nothing to say, should he deny it?Or admit that he was with Jian Mo?Now probably everything he said was wrong, he couldn't think of anything to say, so he simply remained silent.Jian Mo's mother and Gu Yan were silent, she probably knew something, she used to have a faint feeling that Jian Mo didn't like girls, but she thought it would be fine when she grew up, until now.

The boy opposite her looked very tired, not at all what she imagined, looking like a high school student, refreshing.When she heard this kind of rumors, she instinctively didn't have a good impression of Gu Yan, but now seeing Gu Yan's real appearance, she swallowed those words that were somewhat comforting to her.

Jian Mo is her son, of course she couldn't care more, because she lacked love for Jian Mo since she was a child, and they only found out when Jian Mo became taciturn, but by then it was too late.She wanted to make up for Jian Mo, but found that when she didn't know, Jian Mo had grown to the point where they didn't need them. Jian Mo rejected their concern in an adult mode.She was sad, but there was nothing she could do, it was all caused by herself, so she felt powerless.

She took it for granted, and hesitated in Gu Yan's silence. Of course she knew that she was wrong, but how could she say it?She drank the tea in her mouth, thinking of Gu Yan who looked haggard and lost on the other side, her heart broke, it was all for them, why couldn't she say it?

"I know you are all young now, and everyone makes mistakes..." She opened her mouth, blaming all right and wrong on youth and recklessness, but Gu Yan just wanted to smile wryly.Jian Mo's mother has already confirmed some things, so is his excuse still useful?Of course he knew that Jian Mo's mother was still being polite. If it was someone else, he probably wouldn't be able to bear it. How could he still sit there steadily?He wanted to say that the relationship between them was over, but he couldn't seem to open his mouth, so he could only sit in front of her, awkwardly and isolated.

"I feel that Jian Mo has liked someone for a long time, but Auntie, I want to tell you, this road is too difficult, why don't you consider changing it?"

Have you liked someone for a long time?Did she mean Xiaoqian?Heh, Gu Yan's previously calm and harmonious atmosphere seemed to be in turmoil in an instant.He held the chair under his hand, Jian Mo, I must have owed you too much in my previous life, so now that I am separated from you, I have to help the person I like take the blame, but if you owe it, I will admit it, whoever made me fall in love first about you?

He suppressed the wry smile on the corner of his mouth, and after Jian Mo's mother finished, he said goodbye to Jian Mo's mother and left.

Jian Mo, even so, there is nothing I can do. I was the one who took the initiative at the beginning. Occasionally think about it, when I disappear into the track of your life like this, when you suddenly realize it on a small night will remember me?

From what your mother said about the person you like, I really... hate you a little.

you do not understand.

The author has something to say: I dare not go here anymore.

Ahhh, condemn myself.

Mina-san~