Strawberry West Toast

Chapter 46 close9

These fourteen days are too fast, too short, there is no Xu Zixian, no Wang Xiuming, no one else, it only belongs to two people, he thinks of nothing but love, he wants to freeze these 330 six hours, as if he just broke out of the cocoon Dead butterflies, taxidermied, become solid, irreplaceable moments.

On the day of the great cold, there was a snowfall in Beijing. He and Pei Yiwei went for a walk by the school river. The phone call came in suddenly. He was talking to Pei Yiwei about sketching in a small village. When talking about the little boy who fell into the water, Pei Yiwei joked, saying If I jump down now, can you save me? Wang Zhen said you should jump. Pei Yiwei really jumped. Wang Zhen was so frightened that he ran to the river, but Pei Yiwei suddenly came up in front of him and patted the ashes on his pants. , looked at Wang Zhen, and said that if he took a step slower, he would be washed away by the water.

"Are you crazy!" Wang Zhen looked down, there was a section of stone steps underneath, on which Pei Yiwei landed just now.

"It's okay." Seeing that he was really angry, Pei Yiwei stopped joking, "It's snowing down there."

It wasn't until here that Wang Zhen realized that Pei Yiwei's soul was still that boy.Suspending school for medical treatment made his time stagnate, like an apple in vacuum packaging, it will quickly rot when exposed to air.Wang Zhen suddenly understood why he used violence in that incident, because he still had the courage and ability to take risks for his lover.

The phone rang, and Wang Zhen waved his hand, signaling Pei Yiwei to answer the call.

"Hey?"

The young man opposite coughed and said, "Is it Wang Zhen?"

"Well, I am," Wang Zhen said, "Who are you?"

"I'm the counselor of Jianyuan," the man said, "Can I spare you a little time?"

"No problem, you say."

"Fu Chengxuan said that you and Pei Yiwei have a strong relationship, and I want to ask you something about Pei Yiwei." The man asked.

"What's wrong with him?" Wang Zhen looked at Pei Yiwei and motioned him not to eavesdrop.

"A classmate in the department reported that Pei Yiwei would suddenly say some very offensive words recently and throw the books in the library all over the room." The man paused, "The old professor in the courtyard the day before yesterday participated in the final review, and he had some very Inappropriate behavior, the professor asked me to give him psychological counseling to see if he was under too much academic pressure and had a problem with his mental state."

The counselor went on: "I called his family—"

When calling, Pei Jie, who had spent all the demolition compensation and got drunk in the fly shop, told the counselor why Pei Yiwei was only a freshman at 20 years old?Because of a mental illness, he was treated in Shanghai for a year.The counselor said that he knew that Pei Yiwei had suspended school for a year because of severe depression, and asked him whether Pei Yiwei's current situation was a relapse. Hearing this, Pei Jie interrupted him, you know, there are different levels of illness, and severe depression sounds pitiful. In fact, he is crazy, he is schizophrenia, go find out what schizophrenia is, you will be scared to death.

"...It's a bit too much. Actually, I want to ask you if you understand his illness," the counselor said. "I found him and his mother, and what they said was very vague."

"It is true that he suffered from depression, but he has never heard of the disease his father mentioned. It should be talking about drinking." Wang Zhen was surprised by his calmness. The tone and content of his speech sounded seamless. mouth of man.

The counselor saw that Wang Zhen didn't understand the situation, so he didn't say much: "If you see him, please ask him to call me back. Thank you."

Wang Zhen hung up the phone.

Pei Yiwei guessed what happened just now through a few words, and looked at Wang Zhen calmly.

"Let's go eat," Wang Zhen smiled, "I'm hungry."

"Well, what to eat?" Pei Yiwei asked.

"It's too cold, let's eat a small hot pot." Wang Zhen said.

Pei Yiwei and Wang Zhen went to take the school bus, there were not many people on the bus, Wang Zhen went to the seat by the window, Pei Yiwei sat down next to him, and gently held his hand.

In the middle of winter, the scenery outside the window is very monotonous, the grass along the road is covered with snow, and the bare sycamore stands quietly in the snow.Ginkgo biloba, poplar, poplar tomentosa all look alike.The north wind is like a huge ghost, transparent and invisible, rampaging on the asphalt road, and can only be perceived by the people in the iron box when it hits the car window.

This is Pei Yiwei's first month in Shanghai.

The environment of that hospital is elegant, the lawn is full of blue purple/sunflowers, the white buildings are patchwork, together with the green creepers on the outer wall and the clean and bright sunlight, they form a nowhere.

In contrast, the schizophrenia ward.

A snow-white, narrow and long corridor runs through three wards, the first-level ward, the second-level ward, and the third-level ward. Patients are also divided into three categories, those who are seriously ill, those who are improving, and the elderly.

At first, Pei Yiwei was assigned to the first-level ward.

In the first-level ward, there are many young patients like him, but he is not assigned to them.On the first day at the hospital, the nurse took away his clothes and put him on a blue coat. Everyone there has such a coat. The black number on the chest is used to distinguish the bed number. He is three bed, so when he was strapped to the seat, the nurse didn't call him by his name, but called him "Bed Three".

"The rope on the third bed is loose." Someone said to the nurse next to the third bed.

"Got it." The nurse replied.

The nurse tightened the rope, wrapped it around the armrest of the chair and the forearm of the third bed, and tied a dead knot.

"Do you want to drink water?" The nurse asked the third bed.

San Bed couldn't remember what he answered, only felt a chill on his chin and chest, half of the glass of water leaked on San Bed's clothes, the nurse sucked it up twice with a towel, but it hardly worked, so he just let it go up.

Wang Zhen ate very slowly, and habitually picked up dishes for Pei Yiwei, until Pei Yiwei glanced at him several times before he remembered that their hot pot was served for each person, with heavy dishes.

After dinner, Pei Yiwei proposed to take a walk in the square in front of the main building.They all love the square, bright and open, free of snow and sneakers.

There was a wind blowing in the square, the pine trees near and far were falling snow, and the air was filled with a vaguely cold fragrance.Pei Yiwei walked under the tree and picked up a round, brown pine cone. There were such pine cones all over the ground, scraped off from the branches, and lay silently in the snow. It was not beautiful, bitter, and the fragrance was gone. , nothing special.

Every winter, the magpies on the lawn will disappear for a period of time, and come back in spring, which is a signal of the alternation of winter and spring.On this day, there is no magpie, which means that spring is still far away.

The third bed behaved very quietly, was tied up for two days without resistance, and then was sent to the ward for formal treatment.

During that period, the two women often accompanied the third bed.San Bed's consciousness is sometimes clear, sometimes blurred, time has lost its effect on San Bed, San Bed can't distinguish between Monday and Tuesday, today and yesterday, and becomes confused, even unable to distinguish day from night.

The third bed looked at the patients coming and going around him, confused because of their anger, crying, or smiling.The people here are very accustomed to living in the ward where the roof entrance is blocked, the window sills are locked, and the use of sharp objects is prohibited. They are willing or unwilling in their hearts, but their behavior is very consistent. They accept all the arrangements of the doctors and nurses, regardless of the reason, and The third bed seems to have walked into the wrong classroom, unable to find its own place, waking up in loneliness every day, and falling asleep in restlessness.

In the first few days, Sanbed couldn't distinguish the boundary between fantasy and reality. The two were like paint mixed together by some invisible force. That power was huge, unshakable, and omnipresent. To contend with it, it can only be manipulated by it, thrown into the air by it at will, fluttering without any support.

In more and more frequent fantasies, a boy often appeared in San Bed's mind.It was a bathroom with warm light, the daylight was divided into long and short lines by the shutters, and fell on the white mosaic tiles, on the boy's face.The boy looked well-behaved and docile, his skin exuded a golden-red light, the surface of the black eyeballs was covered with a layer of nearly transparent, soft watery light, and the eyelashes were finely detailed and gracefully curved.

Before seeing the boy, San Bed's preference for appearance was very vague, and the boy gave San Bed a standard and a scale.San Bed fell into an endless obsession, and he himself felt ridiculous, falling in love with an illusory boy, waiting day and night, just thinking that he might not show up, he felt a burst of panic, what's worse, he didn't know what to say when he saw him What, there is nothing I can do except to hate myself for my clumsy tongue and not knowing how to please him.

Pei Yiwei took his hand and walked into the woods.The thin setting sun smeared the tops of the pine trees and cast black shadows on the lawn.The cold wind weakened.

"Actually, I'm not as powerful as you think," Pei Yiwei said suddenly, "I arrived earlier than you at the dance, and I stood behind the fire door. When you went out, I walked from the small door in the stairwell to the door. Pretending to have just arrived; I thought of many ways to invite you to dance, but I couldn’t find one; when I sent you downstairs, I actually wanted to kiss you, but I was afraid that you would be abrupt. I have nothing to do but read.”

After the intervention of drugs, the boundary between fantasy and reality has changed, and the two gradually become clear and return to their respective tracks.This was not good news for San Bed. The medicine dispelled the illusion and drove away the boy.San Bed tried to catch the thread of fantasy, but found that it was a flower in the mirror, coming and going without a trace, only winding himself tighter and tighter.

In the hours before the onset of the drug's effects, San bed lay motionless on the bed, his consciousness wandering around the narrow room like an erratic balloon.Sanbed felt that the pills were slowly sliding into his stomach, flowing into the blood, and floating in the thin blood vessels.In a trance, he heard chaotic and noisy shouts, getting closer and louder.

For a few seconds, San Bed's mind was empty, but soon, countless memories flooded into it.San Bed found himself thinking of everything, including that period of hopeless love.

That day, San Bed borrowed wine from a middle-aged man in the same ward, passed out drunk in the corridor, and recalled the scene over and over again: the boy was younger than San Bed later saw, carrying a translucent schoolbag, Walking in the white rain, running forward through muddy water.That was the first time San Bed saw the boy.

After a hangover, San Bed woke up and finally realized that the boy had left him.

Pei Yiwei spoke quickly, and if she spoke slowly, her emotions would flow away. I'm afraid I won't have the courage to say it a second time.

"I was indeed wrong at that time." He slowly squeezed Wang Zhen's hand, "I don't believe you will stay."

One morning, the nurse pushed the cart into the ward to deliver the medicine as usual, and found that the three beds were empty. She was panicked and immediately called the security department to ask them to check the surveillance to see if any patients had escaped from the ward.

When the security guards were busy checking the surveillance cameras, the three beds were already mixed with the crowd in the hospital lobby.Bed San found his belongings in the storage room, picked a corner seat, and charged his phone.

The boy made a joke with Sanbed.

When the third bed was slowly walking towards the hospital gate, he saw a young man wearing a fisherman's hat, walking from behind the flower bed, with a cold and beautiful face, walking past him without turning his eyes, and heading for the hall.

He didn't recognize the three beds.San Bed couldn't figure out why things happened like this. When he was at a loss, two security guards rushed over, grabbed his wrist, and brought him back to the first ward.

"It's all over." Wang Zhen said.

As in the beginning, the three patients stayed in the seat for two days, and after confirming that everything was normal, they were sent back to the ward on the third day to continue treatment.

At the first moment of returning to the ward, the three beds walked into the bathroom.The mirror in front of the sink was only the size of his palm, and it was firmly fixed to the wall to ensure that the patient could not remove it.

The person in the mirror is very strange, his face is pale, slightly swollen, his eyes are bloodshot, his lips are chapped and peeled, he has no shaved stubble, his long black hair is dotted with white, and this is just the surface. The spiritual world completely collapsed, all manifested in his expression, depressed, depressed, and inferior, like a drunk who had been hollowed out by alcohol, but in fact, Sanbed was 19 days away from the age of 20 at that time.

Walking out of the woods, the gray road under your feet is covered with pure and beautiful white snow.Groups of students in school uniforms passed him and Wang Zhen.

That night, San Bed begged the nurse to give him a pair of scissors, but the nurse refused, but promised to cut his hair tomorrow morning.

The third bed hid the personal belongings in the storage room under the bed, turned out the photo, and signed a line of beautiful words in the lower right corner of the photo: 20XX.5.24

The third bed sat by the window and waited for the nurse to cut his hair. As the long black hair fell on the newspaper, he gradually regained a little courage and a desire to start a new life.

He said: "It is not accepted here, so go to the nearby university, and go to the place where it is accepted."

Through the glass of the hospital, the third bed saw the morning breeze blowing the green willow branches by the lake, creating ripples on the lake, blowing across the lawn, and moistening the air with a layer of veil.Everything is beautiful.

Spring does have that kind of magical power, it can blow away the clouds and heal the wounds, besides, it won’t take long, spring will reach every corner of the country, send him to the north, to the promised place, to the beginning of a new story, to meet him boy.