the landlord is a former

Chapter 88

Xia Lan can't remember how she suffered from depression, and she doesn't know where the root cause is.

Maybe it was when I was four years old and I did nothing wrong but was forced to kneel down in order to save the face of adults; maybe it was when I was bullied by my classmates when I was six years old, but I was bitten back, and no one believed me when I tried my best to explain; maybe it was because I was swapped when I was nine years old A failed Chinese test paper, but her parents insisted that she was lying; maybe...

Countless scenes of being trampled on self-esteem, countless scenes of being humiliated to perfection, countless moments of being deceived, betrayed, and used.There were too many of them, more than she could count, and everything was intertwined and twisted into a mess of twine, growing mold and rotting away.

Rotten in her heart, repeated inflammation.

She knows that there is no root, and she also knows that the root is herself.

As long as you kill yourself, you can end all suffering.

So she became her own enemy, holding a sharp knife in her hand, stabbing herself black and blue day after day.

Of course she will feel the pain. When she is in good condition, she hopes that there is someone who can lend her the bottom of the arm so that she can hide under it and sleep with peace of mind.When she was in a bad state, she lay on the bed, imagining countless times in her mind that she would walk to the top of the building, or set up the rope, or burn the charcoal, but because she had no ability to act, she could only imagine.

Imagination is her medicine, it can relieve pain, and it can also be addictive.

……

The birthday concert was over, and the group returned to their respective rooms in the hotel.

Xia Lan hurriedly took a shower, and lay on the bed in a daze with her mobile phone in her arms. On the screen was the WeChat chat box interface, a woman nicknamed "Joe".

Many broken pictures flashed in my mind.

"Miss Yu" said that her surname was not Yu, but Qiao.It was the first time we met. "Joe" was wearing a tight jacket, overalls, sunglasses, a mask, and a baseball cap. He walked casually, with a bit of yuppie taste.

A lock of "Joe" hair leaked from under the brim of his hat. It was not long, like a bang, and it turned purple when it was exposed to the sun.

"Joe" has a deep and sexy smoky voice, the voice is very nice, and the tone is always slow, like a cup of coffee milk, warm and fragrant.

"Joe"...

Staring at the ceiling lights, Xia Lan sighed in her heart, she could remember so many characteristics of a person.And these features almost completely coincide with the star I saw today, especially the purple hair under the sun.

That's sister Jin's friend, Qiao Lu.

Their last name is Joe.

Xia Lan closed her eyes, took a deep breath, opened her eyes again, landed her fingers on the screen, and typed out a sentence slowly.

【Where are you】

【new York】

"Joe" was quick to reply.

【Can you tell me your real name】

Over there, "typing in progress" was displayed, for a long time, it was repeatedly displayed and then disappeared, and no text was sent.

Xia Lan tightly held the phone with both hands, pressed it in front of her body, opened her mouth like a fish out of water, panting carefully and with difficulty.

—— tuk tuk tuk

There was a knock on the door, and the oxygen she had lost imperceptibly was poured back into her chest cavity. She sat up abruptly, climbed out of bed, put on her shoes, and walked to the door like a puppet.

Putting her hand on the doorknob, she remembered to ask, "Who?"

No one answered, but the phone screen turned on, and "Joe" sent a WeChat message.

【it's me】

【Open the door】

Xia Lan thought she would be surprised, nervous, and overwhelmed, but the fact was that she opened the door expressionlessly and faced the person outside who was half hidden in the shadows.

"Can I go in?" Qiao Lu asked with a smile.

Xia Lan nodded silently, took two steps back to let people in, and gently closed the door. With a "click", she stood by the door without moving.

Qiao Lu didn't change his clothes, he still wore his daytime outfit, a silver-gray lady's suit vest, narrow-leg trousers, and flat leather shoes.She held the phone in one hand and put the other in her trouser pocket. She stopped a few steps into the door, turned around, and looked at Xia Lan.

She smiled and went to hold her hand.

Xia Lan avoided it.

She tried her best to overcome the discomfort of physical contact with people, but so far she had little success. The only person who didn't react too much to it was Fu Baiqiu. As for the woman in front of her...

Qiao Lu couldn't help laughing, his expression darkened, he sat on the sofa by himself, patted the place beside him, and said with a smile: "Come here, sit down."

Xia Lan walked over slowly and sat down a seat away from her.

An awkward and delicate atmosphere spread, at this moment, she wished so much that she could act on the occasion, and use the skills of pretending to be happy and obedient outside to perform, at least not to embarrass others.

But she couldn't feel her own soul, that thing was lost, and everything she did now was controlled by instinct.

She sat neatly, expressionless, with stiff eyes, seemingly staring at the carpet in a daze, but her eyes were out of focus, like a puppet.

Qiao Lu looked at her quietly, and said in a low tone, "I'm sorry, I didn't intend to hide it from you."

"The nature of my work is quite special, so many things are inconvenient."

Xia Lan turned around mechanically, looked into her apologetic eyes, and shook her head: "It's okay."

I don’t remember how many years, but the words she often said were “thank you”, “sorry”, “it’s okay” and “it’s okay”. Every time she said it, it was out of an instinct corroded by the virus.

Does it really matter?

It doesn't matter, she never asks herself.

"I like your paintings."

"I like you too."

Qiao Lu has a voice that has been kissed by God. Whether speaking or singing, it is low-pitched with a bit of magnetism, not soft enough, and a bit lazy. Singing love songs can make people cry.

Xia Lan couldn't help shivering, and raised her eyes to catch a glimpse of her gentle and sincere eyes, her long-numbed heart started beating, but only for a moment, the temperature in the blood disappeared again, and her heart sank even deeper.

"Thank you." She replied softly, looking away.

There was a short silence, Qiao Lu crossed his fingers, stared at her clean and soft side face, with a smile on the corner of his mouth, and asked in a slightly low tone: "You won't block me, will you?"

At that time, she didn't think about developing any relationship with Xia Lan. With an attitude of pure appreciation, she wanted to make Xia Lan a friend.She is used to being an idol, loved and looked up to by many fans, and she understands the psychology of idols best, so she knows it very well.

Most idols don't really care about fans.

Like herself.

Everything is just packaging.

But Xia Lan didn't have any packaging.She was apprehensive but hopeful.

"No." Xia Lan replied seriously, smiling politely.

Fortunately, she has practiced smiling. Even with a stiff face, she can smile more naturally. She would rather embarrass herself than embarrass others.

But embarrassment is something that people can't control.

Qiao Lu didn't feel any emotion. In her opinion, it was just that the idol smiled at her. She breathed a sigh of relief, "Are we friends now?"

"..."

Xia Lan couldn't accept this.

Yes?

No?

Why do you want to be my friend?

None of the sentences were appropriate, she couldn't pass the test in her heart, and something called "disgusting" came out.

She will be disgusted and hate people who make friends with garbage like her.

Xia Lan was calm on the surface, with a smile that was too late to fade on the corner of her mouth, but her eyes were as deep as a pool of stagnant water.Qiao Lu drew back the breath she had let go, and without further questioning, called her softly, "Idol."

"?"

"Could you paint a custom portrait for me next time?"

The gentleness in her eyes is completely different from Fu Baiqiu's. It is a kind of serene temperament that has been tempered through thousands of trials and has seen vicissitudes of life, deposited in the depths of a powerful heart. dependency.

Xia Lan pulled back her thoughts, feeling like she was floating.

"it is good."

"I'll give you the deposit first." Qiao Lu reluctantly looked away from her face and looked down at the phone.

"Need not."

Xia Lan subconsciously pressed her hand, and felt the warmth of the skin from her fingertips. She suddenly felt uncomfortable, and hurriedly retracted, "No money."

Qiao Lu's eyes fell on the back of his hand, his eyelashes trembled, and a subtle feeling surged in his heart, "Why?"

"You are their friend."

Qiao Lu smiled in her starry eyes, and said in a brisk tone, "But I'm also your fan."

Xia Lan quickly withdrew her gaze, lowered her head dodgingly, and pursed her lips in silence.

She couldn't look her in the eyes.

"A good work is worth a lot of money. I trust my vision." Qiao Lu leaned back and crossed his legs, as if talking to himself.

She had Xia Lan's Alipay account, but she hadn't added it as a friend, and the surname on it was hidden, and the word "Lan" was displayed. At that time, she guessed that the girl's real name might be Xia Lan, but she never said it out.

Keep a little sense of mystery and don't let yourself down, and when the mystery is revealed, the people behind it are even more perfect than imagined.

Qiao Lu transferred a deposit to Xia Lan and got up to leave.

Xia Lan sent her to the door, struggled for a moment, and summoned up her courage: "Can you...don't call me an idol." After thinking about it, she added: "You are the real idol."

The little girl happened to be standing under the lamp above the door, the blush on her cheeks was clearly discernible, and it expanded a little bit, spreading to the tips of her ears.

Qiao Lu bent his fingers and retracted them into the palm of his hand. He raised his arms at an imperceptible angle, and then lowered them gently. Resisting the urge to caress her face, his fingertips rubbed each other.

"Do you want to give me an exclusive nickname?" In a teasing tone.

Xia Lan buried her head lower, trying her best to avoid staring at her, "They all call me Xia Xia."

It's only called that among friends.

"Okay." Qiao Lu raised the corners of his lips, and suddenly leaned into her ear, and said in a breathy voice, "Xia Xia." Then he took a step back and returned to his normal voice, "Good night."

Enthusiasm surged up, Xia Lan froze in place.

If he knew in advance that something was hopeless, Qiao Lu would not do it.

She thought that getting to know Xia Lan was hopeless. In the Internet age, the Internet has narrowed the distance between people. People who seem to be close at hand are actually far away and unreachable.But that birthday concert gave her infinite hope, and her suppressed thoughts were a little ready to move.

At the age of 30, no matter the same sex or the opposite sex, she has never been so concerned about a person, even her first love boyfriend.

Xia Lan fully complies with her imagination of "artistic breath", people are like paintings, paintings are like people, clean and clear, calm and indifferent, and you can feel a bit of isolation from the world after careful tasting, as if you are just a bystander in this world.

In the impetuous era, art is linked with money and reputation, so it is inevitable to get dirty.

She is very lucky, and belongs to the type of person who "goes home and inherits hundreds of millions of assets if she doesn't make a good start", so she doesn't have to struggle or compromise, and can make the music she likes.

To some extent, she shares the same soul as Xia Lan.

After the busy days, Qiao Lu contacted Fu Baiqiu and asked her about everything about Xia Lan, but the answer she got was to let her find out by herself.

Taking advantage of Jinzhi's face, Fu Baiqiu only revealed a little bit when she talked about it.

"Xia Xia is more thoughtful and a little sensitive, but she is very sensible. You just need to communicate normally. She will naturally say what she wants to say, and don't force it if she doesn't want to."

"She works in my tea restaurant. If you have nothing to do, you can go and sit and contribute a little turnover to me."

"..."

Since then, Qiao Lu has become a frequent visitor to the tea restaurant.

When she is not busy at work, as long as she is free, she will go and sit there fully armed. After a month, she has eaten all the food on the menu.

Watching Xia Lan go to and from get off work many times, just don't bother.Because she was worried that if she directly invited Xia Lan out, she would be mercilessly rejected.

She thought Xia Lan didn't know.

At six o'clock in the evening that day, Xia Lan packed up her things and left the office. Instead of going directly to the subway station, she went straight to the corner by the window and tapped lightly on the table.

Qiao Lu raised his head, the girl's thin face was reflected in the sunglasses, he was very surprised.

Every table around was full of people, and she could be heard if she spoke a little louder. Xia Lan took out her mobile phone and quickly tapped the screen with her fingertips. Qiao Lu's hand was shaken, and the phone screen lit up.

[Is there anything you want to see me? 】

After deleting the edited sentence "Are you waiting for me", Xia Lan laughed at herself for thinking too much, not wanting to embarrass others, and sent out a more polite sentence.

Qiao Lu immediately understood what she meant, and couldn't help admiring the delicate and thoughtful girl who bowed her head while typing.

Xia Lan consciously turned away.

It doesn't matter to her whether others edit and repost repeatedly, or just say whatever they want.

【No】

【I want to see you】

Xia Lan held the phone and looked at it for a long time, her back was stiff.

【thanks】

She really didn't know how to reply, she only had these two words after much deliberation.

Qiao Lu read the news and looked up at her.

"I still have something to do, so I'm going back first." She saw that Xia Lan wanted to run away, her body moved before her mind, and as soon as she finished speaking, she fled hastily.

Quickly walking out of the restaurant all the way to the intersection, she saw the flashing green light with ten seconds left, hurried across the road, plunged into the subway station, panting against the glass wall.

The phone vibrated.

[The first time I saw you, you stood there like a fragile treasure, and I suddenly wanted to take you away and hide it. 】

Made by Joe Lu.